Happy Thanksgiving

Is it time to talk about work?

dis·il·lu·sioned/ˌdis ə ˈloo ZHənd/

Adjective:

Disappointed in someone or something that one discovers to be less good than one had believed.

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?

Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, alright? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.

Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?

Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.

Bob Slydell: Eight?

Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Today the fourth of my closest friends was either let go or resigned in the last two weeks. They were all happy to go, but I am left with few friends; to say nothing of the amount of work that isn't getting done because I'm so bummed out. At what point in owning a company does letting people go cost more than it saves? I can't bring myself to work. I feel sick. Since we moved, I find that I feel sick on most American holidays. I must have pooped 50 times on July 4th (it's kind of funny now, but at the time it was agony).

My professional life appears to manifest itself in two emotions. Depending on the day I either desperately want to walk out, or I desperately want to not be fired. Most days when I wish to not be fired it's because I want to leave on my own terms, and not be escorted out the back door by security. Note that neither of these emotions have anything to do with actual work. I don't feel stress, worry, excitement or motivation. That's because the environment that I now find myself discourages productivity. It's one bombshell after another. For those right-brainers out there, this is crippling for the output of this creative person. Curveballs are fine, bombshells are not. In a creative endeavor it's important to distinguish when and where to save dollars and when to spend a little more to get through. If the company isn't smart enough to make an effort to keep the four people who walked out in the last two weeks what does it say about me? I suppose my only hope is that no fuss will be made when I finally decide I can't take it anymore; so I can stand up and be counted with the people, and I have undying respect for them, who walked before me.

The sad thing is that I want to care about the project(s) I'm working on, but I can't bring myself to work on them. I want the project(s) to succeed, but I don't care enough about the company to bear down, or even make an effort. This is due to the cycle of increased work hours, increased responsibility and decreases in pay. The only thing that gets me through the day is my own reputation (vain though it may be). So I sit and write, or read articles online to pass the time while I wait to answer questions from clients. It's their opinion of me that matters. My company has already made it abundantly clear that they care not for my well-being or happiness. Looking at the project files fills me with emptiness. It's hard to not feel nihilstic about everything I have to do when there is a parade of people making their way to or being shown the door. I have already been subjected to threats that I will be replaced by a person who was previously fired for gross incompetence if I don't fall in line. So my contribution, my ability has grown from marginal to meaningless, while my responsibilities increase as more and more people pack their belongings and make for the exits.

I think the company failed to consider a few things before moving people out here. First, when you send people to where the work is, you're sending them where the work is. My company's projects are not the only ones going on around here, so they can get away with treating employees only so badly before those employees seek greener pastures and better situations. The other thing they forgot is if a person can successfully transition from living in the US to living in Vietnam, then that person has already climbed a bigger mountain than the challenge presented by finding a new job. Getting through the move and settling into an entirely new life is the hard part, not arriving on time and dying slowly at a desk.

And isn't it appropriate that all of this is happening during the holidays? Nothing like having your closest remaining work friend get laid off and sent home to remind you that holidays are about family. I still have Reyna here, but the rest of my real family is thousands of miles away. So when all of you VPs and team leaders are bellying up to that table on Thursday, do take a moment to remember the people you sent to Vietnam, who worked on Thanksgiving, went another month without family, didn't get turkey, or even a home cooked meal. Remember that their sacrifices do have value beyond dollars bills. It's not just troops who get sent away and miss the holiday season...