Straight to Hell

On Saturday Reyna and I went out for a date.  We went to The Deck, a fancy restaurant in our neighborhood.  We had a reservation to sit outside on the river, which is the best spot for a romantic dinner. In order to get to our table, we had to walk through the entire restaurant, including a table containing a family.  At the family table they had an enormous set of binoculars sitting on a tripod next to their table.  Ostensibly the binoculars were so the four children, who appeared to all be under under the age of five, could look at the passing ships out on the river.  The binoculars, however, were set at adult height, not kid height*.  Not to mention that it was already dark, our reservations being at 8pm.  Strange.

*Did I feel compelled to kick it over when we walked by?  Yes I did...  I'm not sure what that says about me**, but it's the truth.
**I know exactly what it says about me.  It says, "there are 50,000 other places to get your binoculars out and watch ships pass in this city, perhaps you could take your brood to one of those"***
***That could be the meanest thing I've ever written here.

Once we sat down, I found myself facing the family table.  Watching the parents interact with the kids got me to wondering why a parent would ever bring a little kid to a place like The Deck.  How do those conversations go?

Mom [to her 4 year old son]:  Okay sweetie, would you rather have the Char Grilled Lamb Fillet Kushiyaki or the Pan Seared Seabass with Balsamic Teriyaki sauce?  The Caramalized Salmon Infused with Galangal sounds good too doesn't it?
Child [Plays with action figures and babbles incoherently]
Mom:  Maybe for starters you can get the Roast Duck Watermelon Cashew Salad!  I was thinking maybe we could split the Seared Tuna Nori Rolls and the side of Bok Choi with Shitake Mushrooms in Oyster Sauce.  I know you like the Coriander Ginger Prawn with Sweet Thai Chilli Sauce here, so we'll get that too.  Would that be alright?  Maybe for dessert we can have the Trio Creme Brulee... I just love that Earl Grey Creme Brulee, don't you??

GAAAAAAH!

It's a fair assumption that this exchange happened three more times before we arrived.

Why not take advantage of the fact that kids enjoy eating Spaghetti-O's*, grilled cheese and PB&J?  Isn't food one semi-inexpensive thing about having a kid?  Consider the fact that two meals for an adult, plus a couple hours of baby sitting probably cost about the same (or possibly less!) than an evening out with the children at a $30 a plate restaurant.  Plus it comes with the added benefit of not receiving dirty looks and incredulous stares from other patrons who are out trying to have a quiet (read: special) evening.  The whole thing brings up even deeper questions such as:  if you can afford to buy a meal for a family of 6 at The Deck, then you can afford to have a live in Nanny who cooks and watches the kids while you go out and have a romantic Saturday dinner.  Was it her night off?  I don't have a problem with acclimating your child to the finer things in life, but perhaps do it on a Wednesday?

*Is it just me or do Spaghetti-O's smell just like vomit?  Just me?  Let's move on...

On Tuesday night I had dinner at site with my coworkers.  One of my coworkers recently got married, and his now-wife comes to Vung Tau to spend time with him.  This means she comes to dinner.  I have no problem with this, she is a friendly person.  What was odd was that she ordered steak, and when it came, my coworker took the plate and cut her steak up for her.  Is she six?  Can she not be trusted to handle a steak knife without opening an artery?  If a grown woman can't cut her own steak, then perhaps she shouldn't be ordering it.  I half expected to see him chew it for her and then regurgitate it into her mouth like a baby bird.

Yes, I am perfectly aware that this is originally a Clash song.  Doesn't mean I can't like this version.