My apologies for taking so long to write. It's not that I haven't been taking some time to do it, I'm just trying to spend as little time as possible sitting in front of a computer while I'm on vacation. I'll rot in front of a television rather than a computer, thank you very much.
Most everyone wants to know what it's like in Vietnam. I don't really have a good answer. My usual response is "crazy" which really couldn't be more vague. I suppose this curiosity makes sense, but I'm more interested in telling you what it's like in the US after being in the third world for 8 months. Perhaps telling what the US is rather than what Vietnam is will be more accessible for those who have never been to SE Asia.
Since we got back I've been amazed by a lot of little things. One major one is how well everything works. When we got to our host's house in Las Vegas, I used the bathroom. When I finished I flushed the toilet and it just flushed. Immediately. I didn't have to hold the lever down. I didn't have to surprise the flushing mechanism with a quick action to get it started. I didn't even have to stand there and make sure it stopped running; it just went down without fanfare. I know I shouldn't be astounded by a device performing the job it was purposely designed to do, but it happened with such effortless efficiency I was actually surprised and amazed. I then turned to the sink to wash my hands and hot water came out. It took less than two seconds for the water to go from cool to hand-scaldingly hot. I couldn't remember the last time I'd washed my hands with hot water. The bathroom sink at both home and the office in Vietnam doesn't have hot water.
Our hosts repeatedly apologized because the bathroom we had to use for showering was being remodeled, and was consequently somewhat construction-y. I asked him if workers would be over at 4am using a hammer drill or jack hammer outside our room. He said no. I said "we're good." Later on I got in the shower. When I turned the shower head on the water pressure nearly knocked me down. I had completely forgotten that there are places where the water doesn't just trickle out like an old man with prostate issues. The water wasn't just hot, it was consistently hot. It stayed the same temperature throughout the entire shower. I didn't have to adjust it one time once it was set, nor did I have to remember to flip the switch that turns the hot water on and off. I could have even taken a hotter shower if I'd wanted. Since we left, our entire neighborhood has been without water altogether for four days.
Later one of our hosts offered to let us use his car. "I haven't driven this thing in like three months." he said as he climbed in to back it out of the garage. It started on the first try. It didn't sputter, it didn't fire up and then immediately die, it didn't make any noise except that of a car starting. This is to say nothing of the following 15 minutes we spent driving, with little to no stopping, at 45mph to dinner. The streets were gigantic and I didn't feel like death was imminent even when we got on the interstate the next day. It was like driving on glass. I haven't smelled exhaust in days even though I've been driving around in an open Jeep Wrangler. I'm already dreading going back to Vietnam and having to start my motorbike after three weeks of sitting outside. Let's hope it's in calf deep water when the time comes.
The internet works with blinding speed. I didn't know my iPad could stream video without having to periodically stop and wait for buffering. At my desk in Vietnam, if I want to have a pop out chat window so I can talk and do things at the same time, it takes 30-40 seconds to appear. In the US, it pops out instantly. Later Reyna called to make a reservation at a hotel she would stay at with her friend who came to visit. She called and gave her name, spelled it once, and gave them a phone number. The whole transaction took about 30 seconds. In Vietnam, just giving someone your phone number takes at least a minute. Amazing. On the other hand, we have to remember that people can actually understand the things we're saying here, so we have to be mindful of how loudly we talk.
We'd also clearly forgotten how much things cost in the US. Our first night we went to McMullan's, which was our favorite bar. Reyna and I even had our first date there. We had dinner and two beers each. The bill was $54, easily triple what we would have paid for the same meal in Vietnam. And while it used to be one of my most favorite places to eat, I found the food to be outrageously salty. It seemed like every time we left the house, it cost $100. Before our flight to Atlanta, I stopped at the airport Starbucks for a bagel with cream cheese and a bottle of water because I was too hung over to eat proper breakfast with Reyna and her mom. Cost? $8.18 and I couldn't even get the bagel toasted. It was a cold land mine of dough that tasted like shoe leather. We may not have much in Vietnam, but we can always get hot bread baked that day. I go to a bakery and get two little baguettes for breakfast most days and it costs less than $0.30. Shame on you Starbucks. If I'm going to have to take out a second mortgage on my house to have breakfast, it better taste delicious. This may explain why I'm getting fat living in Vietnam...
I find myself continually amazed by the sheer amount of stuff available for purchase in the US. It rides the line between amazing and nauseating. We went into Target a few nights ago to look for envelopes for our xmas cards. After finding what we came for, we just wandered around the store. We weren't shopping, we were marveling. The most amazing area is the health and beauty section. Inside I counted 53 different types of shaving cream. Men's shaving cream, women's shaving cream, shaving cream, shaving gel, shaving powder, shaving soap, enviro-conscious, enviro-unconscious, enviro-subconscious; it was overwhelming. And then the scents; lemon lime, arctic berry, pure sport, classic, desert bloom, tea tree oil and jojoba. I didn't know whether to be disgusted or impressed. I have memories of being bummed because I couldn't find "my" kind of this or that in stores before we moved. Now I can't believe I ever thought that. I was disturbed by the thought that this gross excess is considered normal. In the past I wouldn't have thought twice about being angered by the fact that the store was out of Old-Spice-High-Endurance-Pure-Sport Deodorant (not anti-perspirent) despite 30-40 alternate options sitting on the same shelf. It's deodorant, not a bullet-proof vest.
The response I've repeatedly been given for this flood of choice and products is, "that's capitalism at work." To quote one of my friends and mentors, "Moderation in everything." I agree. Too much of anything is bad. After our Target experience I couldn't help myself and agreed to accompany my mother to Sam's Club. I knew I would be disgusted. Or, I expected to be disgusted. It was a strange feeling. I didn't find myself disgusted, but rather found it overwhelming and just plain amazing. Let's say you're walking around the local Sam's Club and find yourself thirsty. It wouldn't be as surprise if you were thirsty because the place has cover about a square mile. I think if you took the merchandise out of the store and stood in one corner, you could see the curve of the earth. It's that big. I also find it interesting that people pay money for the priviledge of spending money. That isn't new, I've always thought that. $25 a year, so I can enter and spend money...strange. Anyway, you're wandering the aisles looking for that electric toothbrush, or keg of popcorn, or 6lb block of cheese, or flat screen television, or dog food, or Slim Jims, or 32-pack of Dove soap when you find yourself thirsty. Juice is too expensive, it's too early for beer and you can't bring yourself to shell out money to hire a Sherpa to help you find a water fountain. What are your options? In an effort to be a more full service blog, here they are:
Smart Water, Fruit 2.0, Propel Zero, Vitamin Water Zero, Vitamin Water, La Croix Free, Perrier, Lipton Green Tea, Lipton Diet Green Tea, Lipton Green Tea Citrus, Sparkling Ice, Monster Energy, Monster Rehab, Monster Regular (in about 37 different flavors I didn't have the will to write down), V8 Splash, V8 Original, Yoohoo (in a bottle for single people I guess), Yoohoo in a can (for those with small children), IBC Rootbeer, Orange Crush, Starbucks Frappucino, Coke, Deer Park Water, San Pellegrino, Mtn Dew (I guess it's not called "Mountain Dew" anymore), Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Sprite, Diet Sprite, Sprite Zero, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Faygo, Red Bull, Sugar Free Red Bull, Fanta (in it's rainbow of fruity flavors), 7up, Diet 7up, Fuze, G Series, G2 Thirst Quencher, G2 Low Calorie, Nestle Pure Life Water, Crystal Springs, Aquafina, Dasani, Powerade, Propel Zero Powder (in skinny "pour-in-the-bottle" packaging, and normal pouches for pitchers), Crystal Light Powder, Crystal Light Mocktail Powder, Country Time Lemonade Powder, Country Time Pink Lemonade Powder, Kool Aid Tropical Punch Powder, Kool Aid Cherry Powder, Tang, Little Hug Fruit Barrels, Kool Aid Jammers and Capri Sun.
It's possible I missed some, I only walked through 2.5 aisles. People must have thought I was crazy as I walked slowly through, frantically typing on my phone, a sickly shocked grin on my face and glassy look in my eye. Isn't that an incredible list? This is one store in one medium sized town. I'm not sure Athens actually ranks as a city yet, since it's basically deserted while UGA is on holiday. I live in a gigantic city and have yet to enter a store with half the options listed above. The aisles were so wide I could do cartwheels perpendicular to the merchandise without touching anything. No one touched me, and I didn't inadvertently touch anyone. No one spoke. Perhaps they were speaking, I just couldn't hear them in the enormity of the space. And that isn't even the amazing part. All of the products above were being sold in CASES, not six packs, not single servings. The sheer volume of liquid in the Sam's Club could easily flood my parent's basement to about six inches.
The refrigerated food section in Sam's Club is larger than the grocery store we shop in in Vietnam*. In Sam's Club I walked past the yogurt aisle (yep, an entire four sectioned refrigerator is dedicated to nothing but yogurt).
Dan-o-Nino, del Monte, Yoplait Trix, Go-Gurt, Chobani, Chobani Greek, Dannon, Dannon Light and Fit, Yoplait Greek, Yolait Light, La La, Yoplait Original, Yoplait Light with Granola, Yo Crunch, Activia and Activia Light.
In Vietnam we can't even find yogurt that looks and tastes like yogurt, and here I was standing in front of an entire case of cases of yogurt. I turned, slack-jawed, to my sweet mother as she opened the door and pulled out a case of Chobani Greek. "This one has the highest protein content, so I buy it" she smiled and said. I remembered back to when I lived in the US and read the labels on products for things like fat and protein and sugar. Now we just go, "there's the x!" (there's a breathy excitement that comes with finding the thing you're looking for) and in the cart it goes.
*I should mention that we moved into our current Vietnamese neighborhood because we nearly peed ourselves when we found the An Phu Supermarket. That's how good it is compared to other supermarkets we'd been frequenting.
I'm still not totally sure what to make of all this excess. It would be easy to be disgusted or on a soap box about it. And perhaps I am on a soap box about it just by bringing it up. At first I was grossed out and disgusted, but now I'm not so sure. I think I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I'd never appreciated the options. It never occurred to me until I moved away that most people don't have 53 kinds of shaving cream to choose from. Most people can't afford a Starbucks Bagel at the airport, let alone a flight to another country. I used to bristle when George W was president and said, "they hate our freedom" when referring to the evildoers. It's not that they hate our freedom, it's that they hate we don't appreciate the holy-cow, blow your mind, overwhelming amount of stuff we have that's just a short drive and a few dollars away. Everything you need, plus a whole lot more is RIGHT THERE, yet we still find ways to not be satisfied. In coming back I find that I am fundamentally changed in this regard. I hope that when/if we move back to the US, I don't ever want to find myself annoyed by the fact that there are only 17 brands of toilet paper available, but not the kind I prefer.
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